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A Diagnosis...

Nervous is understatement...

I discuss my health from time to time but often I keep it to myself for the most part as I see it as a negative.. I don't want to seem like I am whining or complaining. I do realize though that there are other people out there struggling like me. Some people are open and some choose not to be and whichever we decide that is OUR choice.

Some years back I started developing issues with my knees... occasionally other joints but mostly my knees, especially after long days of walking and catching a bus around this big city. Jacksonville is huge and our transportation system is less than desirable but that's a different blog topic all together. I think the icing on the cake was the year I waitressed. That was ROUGH.. I was often in pain and now I am paying for it all, big time. Looking back I can see other triggers from long days in the sun to less than desirable food choices. All in all, a life of a struggling single mama working hard has caught up to me.

About 2 and half to 3 years ago the hives started. Not super painful at first, more frustrating than anything, but since then it has all gotten progressively worse. Not only do I get hives but I get large knots, especially on the soles of my feet.. I swell in random places from my lips to my fingers and toes. I get stiff, sore and sometimes I feel like all I want to do is cry. It is so very painful. Walking up stairs, especially after super busy days is literally a nightmare and we have a 2 story home.

I had insurance then lost insurance then gained new insurance. The primary doctor I had seemed to be unconcerned and tossing me back and forth on tests without answers or solutions, not even looking at the photos of episodes I took to show  him. To say this was frustrating is an understatement. There were nights where I have stayed awake in pain for hours unable to fall asleep with nothing to relieve me, I am also allergic to most anti-inflammatory medications making it all quite difficult to treat with any type of quickness. Thankfully I am married to a very strong man who literally carries me when I can't move.

Around a year ago things got very bad. For the first time in my life I was dealing with high blood pressure and my hive breakouts were lasting weeks at a time. I was in a very high stress job and it was not helping at all. With encouragement from my husband and family I took a part-time job and left the stressful dental world. Of course that doesn't make paying the bills easier so insert new struggles and hard work and here we are. I found a new primary practice after being referred by a friend only to find another friend works there which gave me even more hope that I had finally found a doctor looking to help me AND to top it off she didn't try to push a bunch of meds on me immediately. She ordered up some blood work that they do in office and now I will hopefully get some answers that I have been looking for. Not to mention it helps to have a diagnosis. Part of me feels like without the answer people don't always truly understand what I am dealing with and we're back to me feeling guilty for my health issues. It can be a stressful inner battle and all we know for now is it is something with my autoimmune system...

This to say I know I am scared but I know I am not alone. I am at a point where my children are older, I have an amazingly supportive husband who is always at my side. Family, friends and loved ones that are just amazing. As things have happened I have often turned to reading blogs of others and how they've handled it all. It helps to know you aren't alone so here I am putting my struggle with this all to help you and to help me. Yes I am a little scared to get called in for the results but I know I am never alone ❤


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