Sometimes I feel like a volcano on the verge of erupting.. the thoughts and emotions that can swirl around inside this head and I always pick and choose what I release and what I hold onto. Don't get me wrong, I am not one to bite my tongue at all BUT I am what I call a consequential thinker. Before I say or do anything I try to think out the response/repercussions. This often means that instead of doing what could be in my best interest at the time I weigh it out and go for the long term results, usually thinking of others before myself... often times this leaves me with a lot of unsaid thoughts and unmade motions...
I usually say I am going to do better at this and start just doing what I want but reality is I care too much, I want too much and I think way too much. Problem is I am guessing here.. I only think I know what will happen if I say what I want or do what I want so in reality the only person holding me back is ME. My own fears of moving forward, my own fears of things changing, keep me from admitting so many thoughts that bubble underneath the surface, waiting, boiling, on the verge or exploding from my mind and all over my life...
Time to make more moves... I guess I just have to figure out where I am strong enough to let the lava flow....
I usually say I am going to do better at this and start just doing what I want but reality is I care too much, I want too much and I think way too much. Problem is I am guessing here.. I only think I know what will happen if I say what I want or do what I want so in reality the only person holding me back is ME. My own fears of moving forward, my own fears of things changing, keep me from admitting so many thoughts that bubble underneath the surface, waiting, boiling, on the verge or exploding from my mind and all over my life...
Time to make more moves... I guess I just have to figure out where I am strong enough to let the lava flow....
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